Wizards and Warriors
I watched some of LOTR the other day. It still hits, especially the part where Gollum first broke bad.
My two best friends don’t care for each other. Sometimes, they don’t see what I see in the other one.
They didn’t love hanging out together in high school, and we worked out an informal system for splitting up my hang time. They enjoyed similar activities like sports, live music, hollerin, smoking weed, talking trash, trashy movies, trashy girls, and just kickin it, just not together.
They tried to play nice when we all hung out together at my bachelor party and wedding, and they mostly succeeded. There were a couple rough patches, but we kept it moving.
They’ve both got tons of willpower and hearts of gold. We’ve shared moments over the years where we acted like complete fools, caused problems, and prostituted our souls. But we learned from our mistakes, picked each other up, forged stronger bonds, and kept it moving.
I rock hard for these boys. They’re my brothers, and I love them.
One’s kind of an egghead, and one’s kind of a meathead.
The egghead is supersmart. He helps me understand complex things that overtax my brain, like astronomy, higher math, chemistry, quantum stuff, pragmatism, humility, women stuff, empathy, policy, nuance, delegation, democracy, fancy stuff, and stuff like that. He’s my wizard.
The meathead is also supersmart. He helps me understand complex things that my brain doesn’t get without extra help, like health, fitness, straightforwardness, humility, coaching, female stuff, compassion, leadership, hunting, guns, fighting, dirt dawg stuff, and stuff like that. He’s also my wizard.
I skool the egghead on stuff the meathead skools me on, and skool the meathead on stuff the egghead skools me on. I’m a double down wizard.
Sometimes the meathead skools me on stuff the egghead usually skools me on, and vice versa like it’s a Wizard Wonderland.
And if some fool wants to tussle, I know we’re each other’s Warriors. Ask Cousin Tom. He’ll skool you.
I tell the egghead about the silly stuff the meathead does, and the egghead has a laugh at the meathead’s expense. The egghead does plenty of silly stuff, too, that keeps the meathead rolling. I also tell them about all the dope things the other one is doing in life, and while they used to drink haterade, now they admire each other from afar. Sometimes, I tell one about an adventure that went sideways that I got into with the other one, and when they hit the deck on the punchline, it’s like we’re all laughing together about a banger we teamed up on.
The egghead friend has an affinity for the higher energy centers and is all about nuance and higher-minded stuff. He finds it repugnant when people behave with brazen self-interest. He could have gone to Wharton like Trump, been an I-banker, and done the ca$h money dance, but instead, he does supercool work that advances the arts and culture. He thinks I’m a dope on politics because I don’t just rock with the one who says they’re about the greater good, especially in times like these when there’s loads of suffering souls in these streets and banned babies on the border. He thinks it’s a simple calculation and that I’m weird for leading with my heart and going with love.
The meathead friend’s more of a lower energy center guy, and he’s about the basics and the down-and-dirty. He thinks I’m a dope on politics because I don’t just rock with the one who says they’re about protecting the money. Even though he is a ca$h money dance millionaire from building his own construction company from the ground up, the way he sees it, it’s crazy not to protect your money to the fullest in a society organized around it, especially in times like these when you’ve got a big family and loads of employees to look out for. He also thinks it’s a simple calculation and that I’m weird for leading with my heart and going with love.
Even though my best friends think I’m weird, they still see me. Through me, they see each other.
But they still don’t have to see each other in person.
